


The First

by Pitseleh



Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Genre: M/M, UST, kink meme prompt, preslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-19
Updated: 2010-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 04:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitseleh/pseuds/Pitseleh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A prompt fill for the kink meme, 'Laurence/Tharkay, pining,' with Laurence being the one pining for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First

One would have to be a fool, Laurence thinks, not to aknowledge Tharkay as a formidable man. He is constantly vigilant, intelligent and brilliant. He is professional and controlled, and always in his element. He is clever, he is quick.

So Laurence cannot be blamed, for his surprise, when this is not always so.

The first time Tharkay drives Laurence to distraction, they are in Prussia. It is the early morning, with the light rising slow over the snow, almost blindingly white. The camp is full of tension; they are blockaded on all sides, and escape with any amount of honor or troops intact seems impossible. The victory of yesterday seems distant, once the implications have been fully seen.

Perhaps for that reason, Tharkay is, in a reversal of the usual, one of the last to wake. He has just thundered in, twenty dragons at his side, and it seems this is the first time he has slept at ease in days. He is snoring, a slight trill Laurence can hear through the rooms they have commandeered; Tharkay is directly adjacent down the hall from where Laurence and Granby share their room.

It is a familiar sound, if alien to come from Tharkay: Laurence remembers the sound from some midshipman in his first days at sea, the boy's nose broken too often, snores making a strange rumbling whistle whenever he reached a true, deep sleep.

The sound reminds Laurence of his youth, of a home more fundamental than the rooms of his childhood; it is the home he only misses in the deepest of despairs, when he wishes for the world he understands, when he longs for the sea.

Years later, in England, with mud on his shoes and disgrace in his heart, Laurence hears it again, and thank God the rain is there to disguise any wetness on his traitorous face.

The first time Will Laurence's breath catches upon seeing Tharkay, they are in Scotland. Laurence will do anything, say anything, if Tharkay would only stay; he hates to think of what the ferals will do, in his absence, and he cannot stand to think he will not be able to accomplish in sight of such loneliness.

He insults Tharkay, that much he can see, in offering him such contracts, attempting to keep him. Tharkay seems to prefer to travel without hindrance or liability to tie him down, beholden to no man or beast. Tharkay draws back, shaking his head, leaving his empty cup of tea as he walks away.

Perhaps it is very early, or perhaps Tharkay is saddle sore, but over the cobblestones, he trips.

It is the slightest, dearest thing; Tharkay catches himself almost immediately. But he also curses in presumably his native tongue, and looks back, checking to see who witnessed such a rare moment of imperfection. Laurence can just manage to look away in time, but he does catch Tharkay's expression, indignant and frowning, like a cat come in from the rain.

Laurence would feel more triumphant, if not for the weight in his breast, the hum in his throat, under the rising sun.

The first time Will Laurence is forced to admit it, he is on the decks of the _Allegiance_ once more. Riley is desperate; he will speak on any subject, save himself and his marriage. He turns to Laurence, smiling with the sun rising behind his head.

"But, Will, you've been distracted this whole voyage," Riley says, "at first I thought it was- you know-"

His recent treachery? Laurence does not say, only nods to Riley on the dragondeck, forcing himself to serve up a smile.

"But, Will, I know how you used to be, when you'd get a letter from Edith." Riley grins, his own expression looking momentarily strained, but he seems determined to finish his thought. "Is it- is it someone? Have you finally found a girl to replace her? It's about time, Will." Riley smiles, and pats Laurence's shoulder.

Behind Riley, Laurence sees Tharkay walking from his cabin, stretching in the morning light. He is for once not impeccably dressed; instead, he is wearing only his trousers and a shirt, no stockings or jacket, not even shoes. The sun shines through the thin white cloth covering him, outlining his lithe form under his too-big shirt, and Laurence's mouth goes suddenly dry.

Laurence finds a smile comes strangely easy, "In so many words, Tom."

The last time Will Laurence chooses silence over action, he is in New South Wales. Tharkay is asleep, outlined in moonlight, peaceful and silent. Laurence thanks whatever stars still hold lucky for him, that he has been allowed Tharkay as his companion for somewhat longer, that Tharkay sleeps so near him, that he may be allowed to view such beauty nightly.

He has been weighing the possibilities of telling Tharkay, wondering how he could frame it to prove the honor in his attraction, not just the burning need. He thinks if he could say it on a night like this, perhaps everything could go perfectly. Perhaps he could hold Tharkay near, maybe even kiss him.

The thought fills Laurence with a special sort of courage, a bravery born of the knowledge that the gain would be worth the risk, if successful. He wonders how the words would sound on his lips.

Into the light of the desert moon, Laurence whispers, "Tenzing, I think you are quite brilliant." The success, the knowledge that he _can_ say it, bolsters his confidence. Slightly more bold, he whispers to the sleeping form on the pallet next to him, "I should like very much to kiss you."

It is then of course to Laurence's horror that Tharkay chooses that moment to opens his eyes. Presumably, he has been awake this whole time. He does not move, hardly shifts an inch, only looks up at Laurence, expression impassive.

"Oh, Lord," Laurence can not quite bite back his curse, and begins to shift away, attempting to sit up. There is a horrible sinking feeling in Laurence's stomach as he apologizes with an unsteady, too-loud and altogether clumsy voice. "Tenzing- you can ignore that, if you like, I am a damned fool-"

"No," Tharkay says, still unmoving on his cot, "only, if you do not kiss me, I will be entirely disappointed." His smile is sharp and brilliant; Laurence's breath catches and his head swims. He leans down slowly, and when Tharkay does not push him away, gently reaches out to cup Tharkay's chin.

The first time Will Laurence kisses Tenzing Tharkay, he is home.


End file.
